Something

This is a methaphor

Well yesterday was just one of those days. There were two silver linings, one, fell asleep shockingly early, and two,  I slept like a baby.

Yesterday I heard my mother on the phone with my relatives from North Carolina, she was saying how much she missed it and how much fun she'd had, but was glad she came back, because I was in "a bad zone again" I was the topic of discussion for a good deal of time. I'm not sure why she bothered to share the information she was sharing, and usually this would bother me a great deal, these people couldn't even be bothered ask about me, but they get to know  how totally messed up I am anyways? Anyways mom was unaware I was listening. Since I was about 15 I've always had a heightened awareness of telephone calls and tend to hone into those conversations, mom often thinks I'm being nosey, but the truth is, ever since my oldest brother called my mom that fateful night, on a high speed car chase fleeing from cops, I've always assumed every time the phone rings, its going to be some kind of traumatic, bad news and I listen in, in anticipation for something I don't want to hear. Who knew a phone call that you didn't directly hear or answer could induce post traumatic stress?

For the first time my so-called therapist had the nerve called me today, she was worried she claimed. She gave me her direct number that I pretended to write down.

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This haze Will be the end of me if it doesn't end soon. One of the hardest things about this haze is what it has done to my positive thinking, it makes thinking optimistically and positively mentally excruciatingly-exhausting. Every time I've thought I've got to do something about this, it's like I'm suddenly playing an unwinnable match of tug-of-war against a team of steroid induced body builders.
Anyways, I'm going attempt to fight the unwinnable tug-of-war.

I've agreed to a triple dog dare, a month long one at that ( honestly what was I thinking? ). Walk every day and draw something that catches my eye, a month of sketches. Which will officially begins...? Today! Stay tuned for that (remember I'm no  Kyra artist)

I'm ready to do something with my hair.... But what! Let's see if if I'm bold enough to make the move by tomorrow. If so, expect a picture. I see my psychiatrist tomorrow morning, I'm feeling a little better about it now.