Therapy was a total bust today, so much so that I may never go back! I highly doubt I will!

My orthotics have been giving me discomfort in my toes, counterproductive, so today at my podiatrist appointment, my doctor took them back for further adjusting.

I had to refill a prescription today... Walking up to the office I kept seeing mys reflection in their massive showcase windows, that guy.... He looks no different than the guy I was last freaking year! Ive been through this a million times! It's amazing how insignificant a reflection can make numbers.

I am having such a hard time coping with my life! I just don't know!

I see my psychiatrist Friday. I know nothing will come of it....

I don't know how to get out of this, the longer I'm in it the more desperate I am to get out of it.

I spent another day just laying in bed again yesterday.

It might be time I delete Facebook again... I had some triggers the other day because a selfie a certain thin friend of mine posted.

I'm in crisis!

Uhm...... I guess that's it for now.....

Tell me this haze will end soon :(


  1. Sometimes, you just have to force the issue. I'm not kidding. Waiting in bed for things to feel good enough to get out of bed doesn't work, because things don't get better if you don't get up and get going to MAKE them better. So, you have to set yourself up to at least go through the motions. Get up. Shower. Get dressed and take care of yourself. Go outside, even if just for 20 minutes.

    it's the bare minimum, but it needs to be done. No one is going to give anything to you, and hiding out and not taking care of yourself and then looking at other people's lives on facebook is NOT the answer. Getting up and living your life, even if it's awkward and doesn't feel genuine at first, IS the answer.

    I don't know what happened at therapy, but their mission IS kind of to push your buttons. Pushing you, to push back, so you can figure out what you need to confront. Did you know it's OK to get mad with your therapist and say so? Seriously. It may even be what they were aiming for, because it gets you riled up and dealing with emotions and issues that need to be brought to the surface somehow.

    As far as facebook goes... it always makes me feel awful too. But it's a false thing. I've seen numerous articles and studies about how online media, facebook and instagram in particular, skew how we think other people's lives are and make us think we are more miserable because we're not having as great a time or as much success or as talented as everyone else is. It's a complete load of crap, by the way, but your brain only eats what you feed it, and FB is distorted. I swear, I'm only on it for business purposes for the most part, and it always makes me feel awful anyway.

    So, I highly suggest unplugging if you can't put the reality back into perspective. You can always go back if you feel you have a better handle on it. Just make sure that you fill that time with worthwhile stuff for your own life. You gain nothing looking at pictures from other people's lives, but you gain a lot from going out and having experiences of your own.

    You are into drawing, so how about a dare? I dare you to go out and walk every single day for an entire month and sketch out one small thing you noticed each day. A month of sketches. It's not as easy as it sounds, so I'll take the challenge with you IF you agree to it, AND I'll even post it every day (A challenge for me too.) I triple dog dare you! :) Are you up for it?

    1. I'm not half of half, of even half of half as good at drawing as you are so I hope that is taken into consideration. But okay, I'll take you up on that incredibly ambitious, adventurous, and a little scary triple dog dare.

    2. It doesn't matter the skill, only the follow through. Besides, the only way to hone your skills is to act on them and make them better. I have SO much room to grow, too! :) OK, I expect to see one sketch a day on here, starting today (because I'm moving in a month, so we need to get on this right away!) I'm going to say this too: sketch something from your walk OR something that's inspired by your walk, OK? That way, if we want to get fanciful, we can. I'll post mine on my blog in a bit as well. :)

  2. I am looking forward to seeing both of your sketches all month long. What a great idea Kyra. I started reading your blog and want to comment but I don't know how to do so with the options. I can only comment when a blog has an anonymous option but I'm a very nice anonymous!


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