I posted the above to Instagram earlier, while I do see a difference in the pictures it took me very long time of examination to come to the conclusion, and in the end I decided it was a subtle difference, but a difference nonetheless which is something I would have been mentally blocked from acknowledging not too long ago. To be honest the both photos give me anxiety.

I think I found the dumbbell workout I'm going to start doing next week, I looked around quite abit via YouTube and the one I found seems to be the most tame, there are a few parts that are cause for concern though, the squats, and the thing he does around 3:50 where he gets on the floor, on his back, and then does this thing (very helpful I know) with his legs. Still this is mostly tame in comparison to everything else I was seeing. The plan is to do the dumbbell workouts at home, and go to the gym several days next week, and I'm still looking, and by looking I mean, often thinking/considering into that Cize Dance workout for none workout days


  1. There is a big difference in the two pictures and I'm glad you can see it. Congrats, on how far you've come.

  2. Actually, the difference in the two photos is enormous. Far more contouring and definition in the one on the right. Your skin looks healthier, your glasses sit better, your features stand out more.

    Keep looking for these positives. You've believed a lot of lies about yourself for a long time: that you aren't making changes, that your worth is diminished, that others are better than you (family), that the journey is borderline hopeless. None of that is true, and I'd love nothing more than for you to see that you matter, that you have worth, that you deserve a lovely life. Tell yourself that, please, over and over until you believe it.


  3. Wow there is a big big difference between the 2 photos you have come a long long long way

  4. The difference is not "subtle"!! To the rest of us it is so obvious and dramatic. You have lost so much weight.


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