And Then A Dark Cloud Reappeared

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I was just informed that do to a series of events recent months regarding my oldest nephew, he will not be able to stay with us for Summer Break. For the past 10 years we have had him over for his entire summer, and often his entire spring, thanksgiving, and Christmas breaks too. It is incredibly hard not to imagine him being around this year. Last summer during my deep depression having him around was one of the strongest reasons I didn't do anything crazy. He is a blast to have around. We play games, have movie marathons, joke around, fight like cats and dogs (and get over it), and talk. He is just such a good kid, he makes us feel appreciated, lifts our spirits, and is just a joy to have over.

It's not like I'll never see him again, it just won't be often and likely won't be for an extended period of time. It feels like I'm mourning his presence though, it really hurts and it's scary to think about not having him around. It's so funny, every time after he leaves it takes us about 4 days just to adjust that he is gone, and me and my mom will reminisce  in highlights from that most recent stay. I always felt like he'd come to stay just in time to even me out mentally, and he didn't even know it.

I'm truly devastated about this news, and it honestly hasn't set in yet. i was hoping to go walking with him at the park this year, he has really been proud of me on this weightloss journey and would have loved to help me out, because he is awesome. Now summer, along with the other breaks will be so empty. I just don't know how I will deal.

It may sound pathetic, here I am 27 years old and strung out on not being able to hangout with my adolescent nephew. But I do not have many things in life to look forward to, and this was something I had and I enjoyed. I know I matter to my nephew, I know he likes having me around. He's like the little brother I never had. Now what do I have to look forward to?

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