How It Went

Yesterdays visit at the couseling center was rather boring. It was basically paperwork, the lady I met with is like my case worker of sorts. I'm on some waiting list to be seen by a psychiatrist, they said I was  high priority so it shouldn't be "too long" hopefully " before my medication has runs out." Im also on a waiting list for a therapist.  It's disapointing, in the mean time I meet with the case worker once a week or whenever to help me with things like finding groups and things like that. We meet again next Tuesday.

On my way in to the center I seen my reflection in the windows, and I was not happy with what I seen. I can't wait till I can see myself in a mirror, an image, a reflection and be proud of myself. I fantasize all the time about a future skinny life (all my problems gone, and yes they would be). Getting in an out of cars with ease, going places, having fun, working, being normal. I'm not normal. What I would give just to blend in, I'm not ever going to be one of those guys who can just be like "so what, I don't care" not while I'm huge. 

Sigh... feels like I'm going backwards all of a sudden.


  1. I hope you have a more productive session with your caseworker next week!

    I've lost 90lbs, and I'm glad to see the physical transformation, but I don't look in the mirror and feel proud of myself. Most of the time I just see how far I need to go instead of how far I have come. The mental aspect of losing weight is hard! The weight may be gone, but my issues are still here.

    The NSVs (non-scale victories) are amazing, though. Doing stuff you weren't able to do before is awesome. Whether it's fitting in a chair, not having my stomach in the way when the optometrist examines my eyes, or being able to be physically active - that never gets old!

    I liked the goals you were setting and the good things you were listing last week/earlier thyis week. Have you stopped doing that or just stopped posting it?


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