How It Went

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Yesterdays visit at the couseling center was rather boring. It was basically paperwork, the lady I met with is like my case worker of sorts. I'm on some waiting list to be seen by a psychiatrist, they said I was  high priority so it shouldn't be "too long" hopefully " before my medication has runs out." Im also on a waiting list for a therapist.  It's disapointing, in the mean time I meet with the case worker once a week or whenever to help me with things like finding groups and things like that. We meet again next Tuesday.

On my way in to the center I seen my reflection in the windows, and I was not happy with what I seen. I can't wait till I can see myself in a mirror, an image, a reflection and be proud of myself. I fantasize all the time about a future skinny life (all my problems gone, and yes they would be). Getting in an out of cars with ease, going places, having fun, working, being normal. I'm not normal. What I would give just to blend in, I'm not ever going to be one of those guys who can just be like "so what, I don't care" not while I'm huge. 

Sigh... feels like I'm going backwards all of a sudden.

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