Counseling Center Today.

So today I'll be meeting with someone at a counseling center. That will begin to lead to other treatments, but I'm excited and nervous to see what comes of it. Yesterday I ate less than a thousand calories, which is making the My fitness pall app very upset. I didn't do much yesterday, and I'm not sure what's in store for today post meeting. Yesterday I didn't take my antidepressant, I initially forgot and then it got so late in the day that I kind of just figured it was too late, in spite of the labels strict Instructions to immediately take it if you forget, unless it's close to when you'd take it the next time. It was an interesting day looking back in terms of my emotional place.

I was tempted to get on the scale today, it's been a whole week since I was in the hospital. And while there I kept fearing I would gain weight, why? Because I was eating three meals a day. When I arrived home that day and weighted myself to discover I was the same weight I was relieved. The food there wasn't half bad, but the nutrition sheets where alarming, everything seemed loaded with sodium, I was very skeptical how accurate a lot of them were, they seemed comically Huge in calories and sodium. I drank some cranberry juice a few days, not much, but lunch and dinner they offered pop to us. It was incredibly hard but every day I turned down the pop and stuck with my water. I often got chicken quesadillas for lunch or dinner, my eating choices got more lenient as the days went one. I eventually selected pizza for dinner (this is all still hospital food) I regretted it, it was a bit too tangy for my liking, but I felt like I was going overboard. One day I even ordered cheese cake for dessert, which was delicious, but I felt guilty. Felt like I was somehow rewarding myself for having a mental breakdown. The food was almost always good, contrary to what I heard about hospital food, and that always made me feel guilty.

I decided not to weight myself, if I do it this early I'll become absorbed in the numbers. It's interesting to know how little I can consume and seemingly be fine though. Part of me wants to train myself to make below a thousand calories the norm. I honestly feel like I could do it, a part of me feels like I'm half way there already. This would result in some remarkable weightloss. I'd like to be out of the 500s by mid April. My Fitness Pal gave me a 5 week projection several days ago when I ate about half my calories, it put me at 508 if I kept that up. That simply isn't good enough though. But I know I can leave the 500s with some tweaking.

If I can do this, Ill know just what I'm capable of, and I believe it'll really send me into over drive. Maybe one of those crazy one year transformations isn't so impossible


  1. Please please see a nutritionist, and talk with your therapist about this plan. Under-eating is similar to over-eating (flip sides of the same coin): consequences are stunting your metabolism by underfeeding yourself, stalling any weight loss and rapid regain following deprivation. Your hunger cues may be a bit wonky until you reach a stable dosage and good amount of time on your new meds; something that may be useful to think about. I hope your appointment goes well.

  2. Under 1000 calories is nowhere near enough. I am a 5 ft tall woman, under 200 pounds, and my nutritionist would never let me go that low. People on Biggest Loser don't go that low. I aim for around 1400. I think you would need more than that. Can you aim for something like 1800 or 2000? I'm sure it's still a lot less than you were eating to maintain your weight.

    People are sometimes put on "very low calorie" diets by doctors for specific reasons for short periods of time, under 1000 calories. It is very unusual and very closely monitored, generally you would be in hospital at the time being looked after. And the food is very carefully balanced to make sure you eat enough vitamins and protein and other things the body needs. You can't be healthy on 1000 calories of cereal and pretzels.

    Please take care of yourself with some nourishing food. It's true it will take longer than you want. But you'll be around to see it happen.


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