Mad Dream

Yesterday has come and gone it was an interesting day. I went walking with my buddy after therapy and it was deceptively chilly, it was windy, and I struggled honestly. I lost momentum soon after we started, and it was just a chore getting through the whole thing. Afterwards we stopped by his moms house, and I ended up having a nice conversation with her about Mrs Dash, and all the things you can do with cauliflower. It was very nice. My buddy and his girlfriend wanted me to hangout, so I spent the night over there

For breakfast I had a peanut butter and jam sandwich, turkey bacon, and turkey sausage. No lunch. My friends took me out for Chic-fil-a for dinner where I had a deluxe chicken sandwhich and a medium waffle fries. We then stopped by ColdStone for ice cream. I consumed a grand total of 2,903 calories burned X amount walking and took in 3,792 sodium....

Today

Woke up angry from a dream. In this dream there was this muscular jock type guy thrashing me with insulting things about my lips, saying I'll never amount to anything, that I'm a loser, that I'd never be as cool as him. The plot of the dream was ridiculous, I was in Some classroom that I needed to get out of to go to an appointment, but there were tons of rows of desks I had to squeeze by, then there was some kind desk formation so I couldn't go directly to the door, I had to walk around them in this sort of U shape. Once I got to the door, it was covered in chairs, I was already irritated, I had to walk past a ton of people and awkwardly squeeze past their narrow desks, and there were random chairs everywhere, I was tripping over them. I was upset that I couldn't get out because someone had stacked the chairs really high in front of the door. In an unusually bold and hostile move, I looked around the room scanning to see who it might be, when I seen the jock I asked him if he did it, he said yeah and I replied "that was stupid" and we began to argue, but this guy was really tearing into me, I even tried explaining at one point that I was just having a bad day, and was late for an appointment, but he wouldn't let up. We were yelling at each other so much that I was losing my voice, just as I was starting to make my point. I woke up angry as a result and feel like I'm in a bad mood. That dream really got under my skin.

I'm not sure what's on the agenda for today. Yesterday I broke past my calorie goal, today I hope not todo that. Doesn't seem too hard, I still feel full from last night. I really struggled getting through that chicken sandwhich. My friends had already finished their entire meals before I had even got two bites (I started with my fries). I feel like I've come a long way, a year the same meal would have left me still hungry and wanting more

Comments

  1. That dream seems such an obvious analogy for your life right now, everything in your way and stopping you getting where you want to go! But the great thing is that you never gave up. You kept squeezing past desks and over chairs and arguing with the jock to stand up for yourself. Even though you woke up angry, I think there were definitely some good indications there that you are willing to try hard to do whatever it takes to make changes.

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    Replies
    1. Wow, way to interpret there Natalie!

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