Brandon, Who Lives At Home

It's the final day of the week. Today I watched my youngest nephew Kieyrn. That was pretty fun. Not much going on. It's looking like I'm going to have to reschedule my nutritionist appointment  (which I'm supposed to go to on Monday)so I don't inconvenience anyone (except of course my nutritionist, sigh) do to the dog sitting. This weekend I'm actually heading to Nick and Melissa's tomorrow, we are going to go to the store and buying whatever I'll need for this coming week food wise so I don't have to eat their junk. There won't be a Here's What's For Dinner post today as I'm simply not eating dinner. I had a conversation with my mom this morning  that ended with me feeling very insignificant  which lead me having a series of flashbacks of sort of reliving that insignificance through earlier parts of my life (reliving past bad feelings, hope this trend slows down).  It  got very deep very fast, my plan was to shut down for the...

6-16-2016 Beef (Meatloaf) & Veggies. It's #whatsfordinner #healthychoices #weightlossjourney #accountability #losingweight #brandonwholivesathome A photo posted by Brandon Hall (@brandonwholivesathome) on Jun 16, 2016 at 4:01pm PDT So what we have here is 4.6oz of ground beef (it's actually chuck there is a difference apparently) with a table spoon of ketchup. 52 grams of steamed broccoli, and 185 grams of mashed potatoes. 460 calories.

Recently I unintentionally went through memory lane, and back to my brief time attending university (2011-2012)where my weight, anxiety,  and ADHD made my the experience  miserable. I came across some pictures that easily had me reliving those experiences. I struggled the most academically with math, it's always been tough for me but being in that environment with tons of people, and comically small desks made it impossible for me. I already suspected I had ADHD, but it was yet to be diagnosed, but on top of the anxiety meant that I wasn't hearing anything going on in the class but my own racing thoughts. I always had, and still have this fear of public humiliation (which is why I try not to draw attention to myself), and I was aware that a guy my size squeezing in those desks could quickly become the punchline to someones joke. I made an effort to get to the class early, usually before the professor was even there so that I would never have to make some humiliating walk a...

06-15-16 This is 4.5oz of boneless skinless chicken breast lightly seasoned with sea salt and garlic. 87 grams of steamed Broccoli with a few grams of shredded cheese, with 43 grams of  mixed  steamed vegetables. This is quite a lot but only 224 calories.

It's been an interesting week so far I've been trying to have a better outlook on things. Today hasn't been one of my better days, it hasn't been terrible, but I've been quite anxious and low-spirited. I had therapy earlier which was nice, I didn't have it last week because my psychiatrist appointment lapsed with it (that isn't supposed to happen by the way, but I digress), and I won't have it next week cause she's going on vacation as well, which works out as I'll be dog sitting. I've just been a little down today, reflecting upon things, but trying not to dwell. I've decided not to attempt to do the 3 mile indoor workout this week after all, I think I would need to go up in calories that day and lately they have been low. Yesterday I didn't punch anything into MyfitnessPal but didn't have the usual lunch I have which is peanut crackers and several ounces of grapes. I skipped the peanut crackers which  gives me the bulk of ca...

Tuesday already,  I didn't end up reading or scheduling any appointments yesterday but plan on making up for it today. I did however look into exercise videos and honestly I pretty much decided I'll just be sticking to what I'm doing even though it's starting to bore me. I'm just going to keep on doing the Leslie Sansone Videos. Yesterday's two miles seemed to go smoother than usual, I feel like I might finally be entering the mastering phase. I haven't attempted the 3 mile walk since a few weeks ago but I'm going to give it another go one day this week. Also Soon I'll be walking at the park, I'll fill you all in on that soon enough. I entertained the thought of making videos again, not sure if any you remember when I was posting videos early last year. They stopped completely after my stint in the Behavioral Health Pavilion.  That was of course before I had numbers of my weight, I had no idea what I was losing. Though I can obviously be qu...

It's Monday, time to weigh-in. Last week I weighted 389.9, this week 387.4. I lost 2.6lbs. I'm pretty satisfied with those numbers actually. I do wonder if I could have maybe bumped that up to maybe 3lbs if I had not skipped Friday's in-door miles, but oh well. MyfitnessPal made a big deal about today's weight-in with the below image below. Of course this doesn't include what I lost before I started using MyfitnessPal, though even I'm not sure what the final numbers are. A few weeks back I watched the Billboard music Awards (which is an award show that essentially awards musicians  for chart success/actual success), at which Celine Dion was honored with Icon Award and she performed a cover of Queen's The Show Must Go On , which I had never heard. It was fantastic, particularly because of the context in which why she was singing it. Her husband and her brother both passed away  last year, within days of each other. Celine had to deal with two t...

Yesterday was a mild day, I read my book, it just got really good several plots are starting to slowly intertwine. I starting reading my walking dead comics again too, I also watched a movie last night. This morning I woke up to news and headlines of yet another mass shooting  this time some guy killed 50 people in a nightclub. I normally don't speak about these issues, but that's quite a staggering number, and to be honest I haven't been desensitized to mass-shootings yet, as common as they are occurring. What bothers me about these situations is a single person can take a single device and use it repeatable to take dozens upon dozens of lives. They can just walk into a church, a school, a movie theater, a shopping mall, or a club (all of which have happened seperate to this incident)  and decide for any reason or no reason at all  that today's the day that quite a few unknowing people will lose their lives. That's all for that, I'll likely never bring thi...

Today I have been taking it easy. Been doing some reading, getting further in my book, catching up on the show House Of Cards, watched my youngest nephew  for a few hours. Just been trying to fill the empty space up a little better. I'd like to read more of my book before the night is over as well as start reading the walking dead comics I got into a long time ago, those too are taking up too much space on my iPad. The blog looks different, I'm not quite sure how long this will last, I'm still trying to figure out what look I'm going for, and if I feel like making a banner or not etc... The last one was actually way out of the element for me, I liked the style of it but it didn't really fit this blog to me.

Well the past few days have been all over the place and my anxiety seems to keep shooting to the extreme. Yesterday I actually got in to see my psychiatrist, if you've been keeping track you know impromptu cancellations are something I pretty I have to expect. Luckily there were no last minute surprises. To get straight to the point, my psychiatrist thinks I should consider an out patient program, I forget all of the things they entail it would likely be similar to the behavioral  health pavilion, I will not follow up on that. In other news she also increased my antidepressant (Prozac), I'd be lying if I said I didn't see this coming, yet I was still disappointed. It turns out that when they increased my ADHD medication  few months back the pharmacy made an error and put on the bottle that it needed to be taken before bed, which I was quite upset my psychiatrist didn't tell me about as it's quite a change from in the morning, but I just went with it, but it was ...

It's been an interesting day, yesterday was my moms birthday I forgot to mention that. I was eventually overcome with a sweeping depressive haze that had me in sleeping spells I had to make it a point NOT to sleep the day away. My mom had a seemingly nice day, I was battling the dark haze however, and I guess my mom could tell cause she had to make a trip to Walmart and asked me to ride with her " just to get out of the house" , I actually agreed but told her right away I wouldn't go in. Today I had my follow-up appointment regarding the work I had a week ago, everything was good even the vitamin D, but there was one issue (so technically everything wasn't good) , and I could tell as she was going through the list of everything that was good and perfect that she was leading to something, but for some reason I had not jumped to conclusions like usual. So it's my kidneys. Last time we tested they had slightly improved from before and we figured ' wel...

Last week eating wise was pretty stellar, fruits and veggies pretty much every day. I stuck to my no chips agenda. I dropped the ball with working out though. While at my friends I did stay away from the many temptation foods, although I did have a donut on national donut day (apparently that's a thing, just like national chocolate bar day and national hard candy day... I kid about the last two). They did make some kind of cheesy Tater-tot casserole that looked delicious but it just had entirely too much going on. Last week I weighed 394.6, this week I weigh 389.8 . I lost 4.8 pounds. It's interesting I lost so much in a week where my psychical activity was lower than the week prior, this seems to be the trend. My plans for this week include but are not limited to doing my indoor miles everyday, reading, watching some movies and catching up on some to shows. I also have a follow up appointment tomorrow with my doctor and my psychiatrist appointment Wednesday.