Brandon, Who Lives At Home

When I started my journey the first thing I began doing was cutting back in my consumption. Before I ate breakfast, lunch dinner and many in between, and my portions were massive.  I ate until I felt sick, often that meant going back for seconds, thirds, fourths, even fifths and sixths. Meals that should have last multiple days stood no chance. I knew this was the first thing that had to change, I had to cut back on on how much I was eating. Identifying your habits I figured out early on that I was an emotional, binge eater. I ate when I was happy, sad, excited, even just bored and wanted time to go by faster. One thing I did to combat this was to stop eating in my room, the fact that I already identified it made  it easier to prevent, but the comfort eating in my room really seemed to amplify both the enjoyment of food and whatever emotion I was using and made binging that much more intense. Once I limited eating to only in the kitchen (initially) it ...

Hey everyone you would not believe the bloody nightmare I was in over the weekend, ah yes that tooth. I can't put it into words, but I was in pure agony. I couldn't sleep, literally I could not even lay down because it increased blood flow to the area. I  was in such pain my mother was stress eating chips like Hoover vacuums suck in dirt, poor thing. Is that weird, I felt bad for her feeling bad for me? Knowing there was nothing she could do. All the usual home remedies failed horribly, I could only take Tylenol which I might as well have taken nothing! Anyways  said tooth could not be redeemed and the dentist extracted today upon examination. I can't workout today because I have to take it easy, I have a doctors appointment tomorrow, the week looks like buissness as usual, I'm thinking of maybe going for a walking-photo-taking-adventure ( this week, I know I'm going to have one but will it be this week? I have a few posts thought out for this week that I th...

Its been a fast yet long week. Tooth issue still ongoing, can't get in to see the dentist until Monday, and its honestly been a nightmare. I haven't been able to sleep laying down, and sleeping in general hasn't actually happened much, other than the miserable ongoing pain that doesn't leave for very long... things are good! I had an eye appointment Monday and my new eyes were ready the next day, though I didn't pick them up until after therapy Wednesday. I've been working-out everyday, though since I'm not sleeping laying down I'm thinking of going down to the 3 or 4 mile workout, I've been doing the 5. I'm at the point where I can go it everyday now but I'm not getting adequate rest lately so I'm think of taking it down a notch until this tooth is removed! Had a nice good lengthy talk with Nathan recently about our weightloss journeys, I'll be updating my weightloss inspiration story on him soon now that he has had two skin remo...

Interesting spaces, that's where I've been lately, in between. This is mostly good. I actually think I want to start try meditation, and making more of a point to read my books more. I've been in weird places about my image, from an all time most-content to, things that are or border self-deprecating. I get out of it. I'm a little eager for next months weight in, really hoping I break this 350 plateau, and see where I am at. I believe I was the subject of some sort of subtle body shaming very recently. I've seen this form before happen to others but it's a first to happen to me. Someone on Instagram left a comment on my Instagram that actually didn't say anything but instead tagged another user. Tagging another user in a comment so they will see a post isn't uncommon, however usually it's something of relevance, something viral, or whathaveyou. Of course the other end of that is trolling, and mocking and to make fun or shame, these things h...

Today I turn 29, it's the final year of my 20s, that is tough to accept when you have just existed through all the other more socially  glamorous years, only to suddenly feel like you you're just starting to get an idea of how to live at the end, and feel like you lost so many potential experiences. It's weird 30 is knocking at the door now and that's something I'm not trying to think about. Today was mellow my mood fluctuated, I got calls from my brothers my aunt, seen my grandmother. I actually made my some medical appointments. Had pizza for dinner, nothing fancy, of the frozen variety so I wouldn't feel to intensely about it, but also wanted something fun and hell its my birthday. I'll finish off the night with a movie or two if the newly emerging wisdom tooth doesn't have me popping one of my prescription sleeping pills, yeah on the lower back end there is a wisdom tooth coming in fashionably late, I had been experiencing pain recently and upo...

Here I am the lion-hearted boy taking on 2017. I was thinking once again about my 2016, and I think that year can really be labeled the battle against depression. In 2015 I think I gave in to it a lot more, the psychical activities that I did incorporate into my life truly had a powerful impact, but in 2016 I actually battled the depression hard, I became so much more aware of my condition and how I operate. That didn't exactly translate into smooth sails, it was probably one of the most difficult years for my depression ever. When I went down I went way down, when I went up I went way up, but I learned and still learned and kept battling even when things got darker and darker. Luckily I was open enough to share my inner despair with my psychiatrist who promptly had me hauled away kicking and screaming, chained, shackled and sedated and sent to a psychiatric unit of a hospital. I suppose there was no kicking and screaming or chains and shackles nor sedation, but the last part...

I did the 5 mile fat burning walk yesterday for the first time and it was something else. It indeed starts out faster and just keeps things rotating quite a bit more. It makes the whole thing seem to go by faster but you are sweating fountains. I do like that there isn't really much time to get bored with it because before you know you're doing something different. I was quite literally exhausted by the ended of it and realized this one won't be an every day video yet, but I completed it in my first attempted which I believe is the first I've done that when trying going up in one of these videos. Today I'm either going back down to the 3, or 4 mile I haven't decided yet, I do 5 again tomorrow.

Everything has returned to normalcy, for the most part. My oldest brother is back in Texas, all the holiday food is gone, I spent a couple days with nick and Melissa but am home now, and feels as though the year begins its official grind. I'm plotting ways to get more active, it's been really cold lately and I don't really want to go walking out in that, as I don't have a sufficient coat, but I am wanting to walk outside  but I'm not wanting to be inconsistent so I'm not wanting the weather to play such a heavy role. Seems I've got the 4 mile walk down pretty good now which is 60 minutes. I'm thinking of going up to the 5 mile walk, its the last Leslie Sansone workout I have it tops out at just over an hour so it's not too much longer than the 4 mile  but it immediately starts out at a much faster pace. So that's something I'm going to give a try. I cut my beard off the other day, I was feeling like it was distorting my mind a bit, making...

I think this my year, the year it all comes together. It's really sinking in what I've accomplished and just what I can achieve this year. On Instagram lately I've been getting really good feedback, people have been leaving comments saying I'm inspiring them and sending me messages asking for advice, to which I've been giving to the best I can. It really is a powerful thing when someone overweight says they are inspired by me and are about to start their journey and would like tips from me, me of all people. It's like last year when someone left a comment on blog saying I inspired them to start exercising again. Like what? Me? I did that?! It feels really good, especially now with a more clear mind. I feel like this is my year to zero in on those lower numbers and have a smokin' hawt bod (lol, obviously I kid), achieve some goals, inspire others it's just feeling right. I'm going to start working on getting my mom in shape too, that is a goal of mi...

A photo posted by Hannah Hillam (@hannahhillam) on Dec 30, 2016 at 8:39pm PST Its 2017, amazingly we all, myself included , made it to yet another year. Last year I didn't make any resolutions unlike the year before when I wanted to have a biggest loser style body transformation and that didn't happen, and it bothered me. So do I plan anything for this year? Yes. I mentioned all the sweets from xmas we had leftover this past week and how I was trying to avoid eating them but at times did, so I bumped up to the 4 mile indoor walk to compensate for the holiday for consumption otherwise there would almost surely be gain. I also mentioned that this year I was considering switching to monthly weigh-ins and I've decided to go through with that. Last weigh-in I was 352.4, and currently I weigh 351.6. I lost less than a lb. There are a number of ways to look at this, initially seeing that I was starting the year in the 350s put me in a very poor mindset. Then I de...

I haven't blogged in a couple days. One day 3 of my nephews had a sleepover at the house. Fred, Richie and Eden I didn't see these three often this year so that was a surprise they had a good time and I spent the night out of my room even sleeping on the couch and offering up my room to one of the rascal flats. Since Tuesday I've been doing the 4 mile workout, that has been going well, eating has been mostly solid I did slip and have another piece of sweet potato pie, but now the pies are officially gone with my brothers and nephews in the equation they had no chance. Earlier in the week I posted a picture on Instagram that was very well received. So much so that someone  actually re-posted the picture recommending people follow me for inspiration. I've been considering bringing back my Facebook recently, my plan was to maybe do it after New Years, after my birthday. However after that picture happened several supporters wanted to connect there. Someone particularly...

What's going on? So I lost, really that's all I could ask for on the hills of Christmas. I'm now back down to 352.4. I believe one of the weeks where I actually didn't get to log it into myfitnesspal which was literally the only time this year (it was also one of the many weeks I was absent recently) I weighed this exact amount! Maybe not, what matters is how I'm sticking around these numbers. Here is a quick illustration I drew of the situation below. The loop, get it? And Mr. Burns from The Simpsons adds hyperbole   I feel like once I break out of this bracket I'll continue on a trend of steady loss, but getting out of it is  the issue! So we have been in the 350s since October 17th There is a ton leftover ham, Mac and cheese, and sweet potato pie. I've already indulged a bit too much in the sweets Monday and now have to use my patented self-control to further avoid anymore. Luckily with my brother down from Texas (and my ot...