Since I've been home from the Behavioral Health Pavilion I've lost 60 pounds. I went there in March. If I could make an educated guess on how much weight I've lost since I've embarked on my weight loss journey in total since September of last year, I'd say I lost about 100 pounds if not more. I haven't really been tracking the grand total numbers, it's really been Myfitnesspal as of late. It needs to know your current weight to give you an adequate calorie deficit. Monday when it notified me that I lost 60 pounds I buried the information to the back of my head, and the next morning when I read a comment on this blog of someone pointing out that very fact it triggered a very power emotionally confused response.
I remember smiling at first. And then becoming so deeply consumed with depression, I again was having a breakdown. I've lost 60 pounds in a couple months, 100 pounds in less than a year, yet I don't feel like it. Ive seen those illustration of what a single pound looks like, I've lost literally lost dozens of those and why do I not see and feel it!? Yes there are those little things like a shirts buttoning up, and space in a car, but they aren't 60-100 pound scale differences. What I keep realizing is how far grace my Issue is, the fact that so much weight can glide off of me in such a short timeframe and make such a minimal visual difference shows how severe my obesity is. My journey is not like most of the other journeys. With any luck, at some point in time, these complaints will start minimizing as I start seeing the results I want to see.
I got into a huge thing with my mom recently because she said I should cut my hair, you all know how I've been about my hair lately, and specifically about
not cutting it,
but changing its style, for me. Anyways. I told her I can't shave my face because I need the hair to hide my hideously huge and round
Mr. Potato Head bare face, I still need to lose weight. When I shaved for that Walmart interview I remember feeling so gross and disgusting. I may end up trimming it anyways, it is becoming bothersome. As for the hair on the very top of my head, well the plan remains the same, do something different... Eventually, now though I'm holding off for further more significant weight loss. I just don't want my weight to distract from the new do, and fear whatever I try might be a thin-guy do, so I keep pushing it back...
