Fat



Ever since I was able to identify with the word, it's been a pretty lethal word to me. Ive sometimes used it to describe myself,  I'm sure there's plenty of posts on this blog that back it up. That being said it isn't a term I welcome  or am comfortable with, like I said, it's a lethal word, venomous and painful. I believe when I've used it to refer to myself Ive sub-(or just plain)consciously tried to hurt myself.

For some overweight people, the lucky few, the word fat doesn't have such a negative connotation, it's just a word. But for me it's much more powerful than just a word, and I feel like a lot of the overweight can relate to how hurtful, painful, and uncomfortable it can be to hear. I think there is enough fat-shaming going on in the world without the need for it to come from within those affected, easier said I suppose. Because of societies incredible tolerance of fat-shaming, I've learned to hate myself,  and my image because of my weight. The same is true for a lot more people. That's why the very word can have some pretty powerful psychological effects on me, and other people. It's destructive. Earlier I watched a video on YouTube by BuzzFeed titled "Men's Standards Of Beauty Around The World" that show the idea of what individual countries find to be the ideal man. First thing I noticed was of course they were all thin, there was some other depressing facts as well, but that one was the big one for me. If those were the standards or ideals, than I'm the exact opposite.

This year I really got into watching weight loss bloggers on YouTube, it's been a pretty strong presence throughout my journey. Recently one of the youtubers I watched started making dance videos, he weighs over 570 pounds, he has been uploading dance, and weight loss videos weekly for about a month.. The title of his dance videos are "A Fat Guy Dancing" and I immediately had a problem with the title, it caused me to detach from the mostly positive message behind it. On one hand it's great to see someone in my size range out there being brave and doing something as simple as dancing, because to be our size it is brave, but on the other hand by titling  it the way he did I feel like he is pandering to the fat-shamming sensationalist. The comments are almost entirely positive, but the point is who I think it's trying to target. The title makes me think of the pictures and videos taken of people unknowingly, (go viral) posted on social media and shaming them for being over weight, wearing an outfit too small, sweating, or some type of mocking and ridicule involving the obese. I think the purpose is to maybe drive traffic from people who wanted to see something funny.

I've been using MyFitnessPal regularly, and a couple days ago, I went to the message board, or community forum section of the app. There I found a thread covering success stories, and within that thread a man had become very popular for his weight loss. He was doing a Ask Me Anything Q&A for the community. He lost a ton of weight and people had a lot of questions for him. He answered quite a lot, laced through a lot of his replies were subtle fat-shaming. He would say things like, he'd rather have loose skin than be fat, or being healthy is better than being fat. There was this nothing is worse than fat rhetoric. I often got the impression maybe he didn't realize a lot of these people were still overweight and had problems with there self esteem. I thought it was careless, and detached from the post completely. There was something also quite smug about him too.

Something I notice between a lot of people that lose a lot of weight, is the tendency to offer generic advice or to say things like "all you have to do is" or "you can do it if you just." One day I hope to lose so much weight that I can give advice, but I hope to never trivialize any part of the process. I also hope I don't lose my empathy, and once I'm no longer overweight, to never use the word fat with venom again.



Comments

  1. The word "fat" is bad enough but what I really hated was the term "morbidly obese." Even looks awful written out.

    Even with the FA movement, there is still so much hate and discrimination against those struggling with their weight. Those horrible websites like fat people hate and fat logic should be outlawed.

    I have noticed the same thing in people who have lost weight. It's almost a born again or evangelical attitude. I have lost over a 100 lbs but don't push my way on other's. I get that people are happy to be at a normal weight but there isn't one right way to lose and maintain. It's also important for those who have lost not to get too confident but regain would be very easy.

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    1. I agree. I remember the first time my doctors gave me that label, I believe I was 12 or 13. My mom was in her room crying hysterically, she couldn't believe the doctor wrote that. She felt it was mean, and entirely over the top. At the time I wasn't familiar with the term obese, I hadn't realized I graduated from the overweight-club, and became diseased

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  2. Good level of awareness check and very well written.
    Happy Easter Brandon!

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  3. Lost my post but wanted to post again and tell you how much this post hit home with me. I wish people would stop hurting those of us with weight problems. I have been treated so badly because of my weight. Even if I ever get to a normal weight I would never call people names. So proud of all your efforts. Happy Easter.
    Jeanette

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    Replies
    1. Thank you Jeanette. I think the level of abuse the overweight have to deal with is just down right criminal, and its social acceptance is an injustice to society.

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