Its About That Time

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Work in just a couple of hours, yesterday I did pretty well not to think of it much, but I had moments where I would think about going in today and it would feel like the air was suddenly knocked out of me. I would suddenly breathe hard, almost gasping, and that sinking feeling in my chest and stomach felt like a bottomless pit. Then it would be over.  I just don't want to deal with it all today, but I have to. I do plan on doing a post work update. In about an hour I'm going to have Broccoli for breakfast. I don't want to eat, but my stomach feels completely empty and I'm experiencing legitimate hunger pains.

Here's some good news, mom recently bought a new scale online with a weight capacity of 550 pounds, so In a couple weeks I will actually be able to know my current weight. I'm scared and nervous, Ive wanted to know my numbers for a while, but I'm sure what ever it is, it will still be hard accept even though its obvious. Then there is the fear that I may weigh more than 550 pounds, that would surely devastate me, but feel like that is not very likely.

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