Its About That Time

Work in just a couple of hours, yesterday I did pretty well not to think of it much, but I had moments where I would think about going in today and it would feel like the air was suddenly knocked out of me. I would suddenly breathe hard, almost gasping, and that sinking feeling in my chest and stomach felt like a bottomless pit. Then it would be over.  I just don't want to deal with it all today, but I have to. I do plan on doing a post work update. In about an hour I'm going to have Broccoli for breakfast. I don't want to eat, but my stomach feels completely empty and I'm experiencing legitimate hunger pains.

Here's some good news, mom recently bought a new scale online with a weight capacity of 550 pounds, so In a couple weeks I will actually be able to know my current weight. I'm scared and nervous, Ive wanted to know my numbers for a while, but I'm sure what ever it is, it will still be hard accept even though its obvious. Then there is the fear that I may weigh more than 550 pounds, that would surely devastate me, but feel like that is not very likely.


  1. I know it's hard to eat when you are anxious, but I think it would help you to balance your meals a bit more with some protein + healthy fat + carbohydrate. Just broccoli for breakfast isn't going to give you strength for the day. Peanut butter on toast is a good start, I think.

    1. Yeah I know Ive been pretty sloppy with eating the past week or so, but the last few days in particular have been better. Been eating Raisin Bran cereal.

  2. I sympathize, my anxiety is kicking my butt right now.

    I agree with Natalie that you've got to eat more for breakfast! Definitely add some protein if you can get it down.

    I think you will be pleasantly surprised when you do get to weigh yourself. Think you might be lower than you are imagining. Am rooting for you and hoping for a number you'll be happy with. Even if it's not, remember it's the last time you'll see that number. You're going to reach your goal Brandon.


    1. It would be really interesting if I somehow cross the twilight zone and end up being less than what Im thinking. But I just cant wait to know, and to actually be able to actively track my weight. Im excited, but the darn scale hasn't even shipped yet, the anticipation is killing me, but it is kind of giving me something to look forward to.


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