Post Work Update [PWU]

Easy day, turns out I had another section of training to do, which has its own subsections. I honestly don't know when Ill be done with these now. The likelihood is that they will finish during my shift tomorrow sometime since it is a staggering 8 hours! I'm going crazy back there in the computer rooms, they keep playing the same songs in the same order, every time I'm there, and I noticed yesterday that everyone else I was in orientation with were done with training in entirety, so its taking me particularly long. I get back there and I cant seem to focus, either there is people coming in and out, or its just me, and my mind just wont stay still. I believe may have ADHD, I used to have an extremely hard time focusing in school, and would spend entire classes just doodling mindlessly on paper, or Id read a word that would remind me of something and then I could go into thought about that, which would lead into other thoughts. I remember how often I used to zone into a world of thought because someone said a word, and my mind would link it to something that I experience recently. for example,  If that one random word was in a song that I had heard, then the song would be on my mind, then where I listened to it last, if I liked it, what the song might mean, where I very first heard it, and trying to think out all the lyrics in full. I mean it was a whole thing (and still is). Its something I'm going to have looked into. Ive certainly underplayed it here because I just don't know how to describe it adequately.

Anyways back on topic, its definitely a good thing I haven't been on my feet, but its just going to make the initial impact from when I actually do hit the field that much harder, I just want to hurry and finish them up so I will finally know what I am in for. At Target, essentially training was done in a day, and they scheduled their computer stuff in between shifts, so I was already running register before I finished those up. Not like at wal-mart that requires you to do 5 billion and have them done before you can even start doing the position you were hired for. I don't know I just want the regular hustle and bustle to begin already the anticipation from it is giving me anxiety, its been nice to come home from work and not be in absolute agony, but a part of me wants to get used to it, and that wont be the reality, it will only make the reality a billion times more difficult. Feels like Im in a damned if I do, damned if I dont kind of situation.

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